Sweet Goth's Vampires

Vampires, Coffins, and Victims: and Me

2011-10-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

Sweet Goth, aka Leslie, has been overwhelmed with running a vampire business (Grave Images llc) while teaching four assorted composition class, while editing Scion Press books (Lena Cameron, Dreams and Omens) and working out the logistics of teaching webinars on composition subjects. All of this is teaching me that I have a "thing" about the supernatural in all its manifestations. And I am over-extended. And audience is KING!

Since October 1, 2011, my family and I have been running a vampire photography booth at a local "haunt," (Scream at the Beach's Jantzen Beach, OR location for those who know Portland). We entered the Biz because I thought other folks interested in vampires, Goths, Emos, and all of us supernaturally inclined folks, would be interested in having their picture taken dressed as a vampire while emerging from a coffin. I know I would have paid someone else my hard earned cash for the opportunity to do so.

Again, I am being reminded that audience is king. It seemed like a perfect fit -- both to us and the people producing the really scary haunt. We all thought we'd be pulling people out of the coffin, willy-nilly, to let the next into the coffin. Well, it hasn't quite worked out that way.

It turns out that the social dynamics of groups is tough to beat. And they don't steer our way. If one of the group finds it too "scary," the other isn't allowed to sit in the coffin. If it isn't free, it isn't worth it to sit in the coffin. If we won't fit nine fairly beefy adults into the coffin for one $8.00 group shot, it isn't worth it to sit in the coffin.

Don't get me wrong, those very few who have "gotten it" have been great fun. But like in all things, know your audience, and repeat after me, "Location, location, location." Our biz would be a go in at least three place which aren't Portland, OR. If you live in New Orleans, New York, or London, contact me for a great business plan.

Bad Endings Bite

2011-09-24T17:08:00.000-07:00

Spoiler Alert and Bad Ending Warning: Forever Knight's ending, well, bites!

Sweet Goth has just spent some serious time watching the 1990's three season series Forever Knight, a television series produced in Canada. It took awhile before I adjusted to the 1990's hair and clothing (and on a side note, the producers might have varied both the hairstyles and clothing of the female mainstays), and adjusting to the glowy green vampire eyes, but the story-lines mostly were good enough that those could be shuddered at, but ignored.

What I can't ignore, and really resent, is when writers and producers are so desperate to end the series that they have the characters break character. (Oh, and the constant injections of the past clips as filler is also resented, but really.) The viewers have watched though 69 episodes, they have invested in the characters as they have behaved throughout all those episodes. So Nick, is anguished at being a vampire -- 800 years of "oh, damn, I'm eternal?" -- but he is trying really hard to not drink human. His friend Natalie, a Medical Examiner, is helping him in his search to become human. Over the course of the series, we have found he's brought several people "across." But when the time comes to split with his best bud and creator LaCroix because LaCroix declares it is time, Nick promises his non-girlfriend girlfriend Natalie to bring her "over" because he doesn't want to leave her behind. And instead of bringing her "across," he kills her? Why? Was she somehow chained to the city of Toronto and unable to leave the border? Could she not have traveled with them as a human? And then LaCroix who has been established as being a totally amoral and selfishly vicious alpha, kills his son because Nick wants him to. Again, why? Nothing in the character has established him as willing to kill his son.

Yes, I'm upset. I sat through 70 repetitions of the theme blurb "... endless, forever night." (Endless IS forever -- chose ONE and stick with it!) I deserved a more coherent ending.

Kicking Ass! Kipling's "The Vampire"

2011-08-29T20:37:00.000-07:00

While perusing really really old material today so that you, beloved readers, wouldn't need to do it, I ran into three responses to Kipling's "The Vampire." Then I ran into several more. Then I dug deeper yet and discovered there are more than 2200 extant and readable recountings and responses to Kipling's "The Vampire." And I searched only from 1897 to 1940.

The reactions run from story to play to poem and range from vampire as economic metaphor to vampire political statements to vampiric gendered roles to vampire at work. I've rarely seen such a widespread use of vampire.

The version I'll sharing this time is by William Rex, called -- you guessed it! -- "The Vampire!"
It is from a magazine called The painter and decorator, Volume 23 -- 1909

The Vampire (Laborer’s Version.)

(With Apologies to Kipling)

A fool there was and he toiled away

(Even as you and I).
For a cage and crumb, with nothing to say --
(Some call it worse than death grim and gray) —
But the fool he called it his full day's pay—

(Even as you and I).

Oh, the life we waste and the strife we taste—
And the work of our head and hand
Belong to this world, which does not know—

(And now we know that it never can know)
And does not understand.

A fool there was and he lived a slave—

(Even as you and I.)
To a master who drove him remorseless to grave—
(And the master did not heed the wounds he gave)—

But the fool never dreamt that his life he could save

(Even as you and I).

Oh, the miseries he lived for the crumbs he received –

And the kicks which a dog would abhor:

He took from the man who cared not to know why –

(And now we know he never cared why)

And did not understand.

The fool was stripped of his bloodsucked hide –

(Even as you and I).

Which he might have saved if he only had tried –

But a fool is a fool, though wise men he may chide)

So some of him lived, but the best of him dies

(Even as you and I).

And it isn’t the blow, or the red-blood flow,

That stings like a white-hot brand –

It’s coming to know that he never did try

To conquer his lord and make him know why –

And force him to understand.

(Sweet Goth here. Doesn't a poem kick ass when it can be re-purposed so endlessly yet still have relevance in its new incarnation?)

Earth to Earth Dust to Dust

2011-08-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

"Earth to Earth, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust" the playbook disclaims, working quite nicely with the vampire universe since it blends both Christian beginning to vampires' Twentieth/Twenty-first century style.

So, in case you are not up the the Christian beginning of human from dust, I'd refer you to Genesis -- the section where God picks up a handful of "clay" or "dust," spits on it to moisten it and forms Adam, the first human. (Yes, man = dust and Holy spit.) One assumes that the Holy spit is what gives a human its immortal soul, but that is only speculation.

Then, Adam gets bit by a vampire -- and whether he looses his soul or not, his dietary tastes change. But his human family doesn't know about his new existence; he gets buried. If here were still fully human, his existence would end here and he'd return to the earth which he came from. But, Adam emerges from the earth not quite human this time, although he still wears a human shell no soul is home.

Enter the slayer such as Angel or Buffy (or Spike) in the Whedon-verse. If they are doing their job correctly, they will stick a stake through Adam's non-beating heart and what is left will now puff into dust. This is dual up-side. It nicely disposes of the corpse, and completes the Biblical circle. Earth to earth, dust to dust. The full measure of a man.

Eternal Life = Eternal Life

2011-08-14T23:29:00.000-07:00

Eternal life is both a blessing and a curse for a vampire, especially if they must spend part of it coffin bound, but it does offer them the opportunity to do lots of studying or reading. They could study Computer Engineering or sociology, or perhaps learn a new language, but really, human or previously-human, the attraction of a Gothic novel remains.

In this case we see the vampire reading Risen From the Grave: Varney the Vampyre part 1: The Feast of Blood, a penny dreadful from the Victorian period. Of course, while the story is the original the edition is not. This is the nicely modernized version offering a younger vampire -- one not a century and a half old -- a look at the un-life and adventures of Varney.

I guess this is an old-fashioned vampire or the book would be an e-version and not nearly as much fun in the picture. (Taken at Washington County Fair by Grave Images llc)

Humans in a Vampire World

2011-07-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been working with students in Tales of the Vampires, a compilation of stories in graphic novel form collected and organized by Joss Whedon. Each story is written by a different writer who worked with him on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series. Each world is totally different; each story focuses on a different vampire, often telling the story of his/her/its creation. And in most of the worlds, most humans walked around totally unsuspecting that there were vampires in their midst.

Why, one wonders, look at the "normal" humans? Because doing so lays stress on many things:

Vampires look like us. This is important because it reminds us that the monster -- as Pogo long ago said, is us. We carry the seeds of monstrous-ness within us when we place our own survival needs over those of the other creatures around us. This comes into play when the banker who recently foreclosed on the unemployed soldier's home goes home, driving his Beemer to his Million dollar McMansion. Comes into play when the boss tells the worker that they need to take a pay loss due to economics, while giving themselves a 11%, $11,000 per year raise. Yet not only do we not recognize the monster; we want to be that monster.

The humans, too often, are totally oblivious to the vampires among them. They simply don't want to accept that such "evil" can exist. And since vampires don't really exist and are figments of literary license, there is no need to even worry about them. Criminals from some cartel are taking revenge on some other cartel through beheading and burning them. And "why doesn't someone do something about those people?"

In this book it is usually the marginalized: poor, homeless, unwanted, who become the victims -- and it is so much easier to not notice the disappearance of people who have never been noticed to begin with. So the humans go about their day to day in blind obliviousness to the vampires among them. Lambs only if they, themselves, get an unlucky economical broken leg.

Picturing Myself as a Vampire

2011-06-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

Ever since SweetGoth participated in a vampire conference in England, she has wanted to sport in a coffin as a vampire. Never one to do anything small -- and since finding a coffin to hang out in as a vampire is well nigh impossible, she and her family had to start a vampire photography business. Now she can sport in a toe-pincher, or a standard casket. Fun stuff.

Grave Images -- the vampire photography business -- is located in Oregon. It has a facebook page if you are really curious.

Bitten by Bad Sellers

2011-03-28T15:19:00.000-07:00

If it seems too good to be true, cover your butt, you're about to be screwed.

SweetGoth and family are about to open vampire themed photobooths, and were seeking affordable, high-quality fangs to sell since what is a vampire without fangs? Wandering the internet, because where else does any left-clicking internet savvy modern Goth look for fangs, we discovered the fangs, image right, with a nice clean packaging, and an affordable cost though a China provider, globalmall, though DHGates.com.

With customary US trust, we didn't even cry foul when they informed us that the "shipping" had gone up, and we would need to pay additional monies to receive our order. We figured the costs, and paid. Note that we do run several websites, and we know it isn't hard to update info on webpages. It should have warned us that something was wrong.

We waited anxiously, like any young business with product to arrive, and tore into the package after its delivery. See below. Not what we ordered. And not saleable due to the jagged edges; what would a "vampire" sue us for if their "fang" tore their gums?

At present, it looks like we have 50 pairs of "vampire teethcaps" shoved up our "you know whats." We are screwed. Learn from our mistake, avoid purchases from either service. DHGates, like all internet service providers, sides where their income comes from, with the seller.

Vampires and the Twilight of Thought

2010-09-06T13:47:00.000-07:00

Color me red. Blood red. I love vampires in all their splendor, from the crypt dwelling coffin sleeping nightmares of classic vamps to the suited, elegant vampires of their current incarnation, they all please me. What doesn't please me are the suited lawyers (now there's vampires for you) of Summit Entertainment: Owners and promoters of the Twilight Saga, who have just made another sweep of the internet seeking to keep the free world safe for Edward: oh, and their ownership of the thought/word connection.

They claim that the following definition of vampires infringes on the copyright of one -- they don't bother saying which -- of the Twilight Saga.

Vampires are evil undead creatures who avoid sunlight. They aren't sweet, and do not want to marry young ladies.

Do you see any reference to their blasted saga there? I see an opinion. Yes, the opinion is not the one they use to sell their many products. But, as holder of eleven copyrights myself, I understand that copyright does not give me ownership of thought. It especially doesn't give me ownership of thoughts that displease me.

As I said: Color me red, blood red. And you should be too.

Telepath as Vampire

2010-08-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

The Sweet Goth has been spending a few hours perusing the Library of Congress holdings, looking for holdings of vampire books for young children, and holdings between 1897 and 1950, and she stumbled upon The mental vampire per telepathy; sketch and revelations to science of the invisible world, by August M. Becker (published in NY, 1928). It caught my attention because while vampire (and Zombie) economic metaphors are prevalent, as are gold-digger (pimp) metaphors and employer metaphors, Sweet Goth has never really considered the idea of telepaths as being sort of mental vampires.

I had always just considered the idea of being able to look into someones mind as somewhat cool and freaky. But as a metaphor, now that I think about it, it works. A telepath looks into someones mind without their permission (except Spock) taking away someone's very private view of the world. It again plays with a trinity (vampire, victim, blood) = (telepathic human, victim, thought), and what is more personal than thought? Our thoughts are as integral to us as our blood, because without either, we cease.

Bram Stoker's seminal Dracula of course does lead this direction with Dracula's ability to read the minds of the women he has vampirized. He is able -- as are they -- to share telepathically what they are seeing as they see it. This is seen most obviously in Mina Harker -- nee Murray as the slayers, through the hypnotism of Helsing, use Mina's connection to Dracula to trace his travels from England back to Romania.

Pretty cool that someone back in 1928 was making the connections for me. I will be all vampiric and use his/her thoughts send across the invisible time/space world in the form of a book, and spend some time communing in someone's brain. Cool.

Vampire's Soul, Conscience, or Chip

2010-06-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

The Sweet Goth household has been main-lining Buffy lately, and the question regarding Buffy's relationship -- or refusal to have one -- with Spike has been under discussion. Her main stated reason for refusing to return his love (although she returns his attraction) is that he has no soul. What he does have is the chip that prevents him causing direct damage to humans. Of note is that he has no conscience as well: witness him as the Dr. willing to sell demon hatchlings to foreign governments. Yet I maintain it as inarguable that he does love her. He demonstrates his love by taking care of her irritating sibling Dawn, assisting the Scoobie gang in any way he can, and in his willingness to sacrifice his first love, Drucilla for her. He is even willing to fight to get his soul back if that will make her willing to love him. Spike is capable of love. Isn't the ability to love the main part of having a soul?

Yet the eternal triangle maintains that she loves Angel, the vampire with a soul -- a soul not attained by personal choice; it was a curse that returned it to him, a punishment for killing a gypsy girl and meant him to suffer. And with the return of his soul, his conscience came too. When in season two he loses his soul and becomes Angelus -- a true menace who murders at least one of her friends -- she doesn't stop loving him. He is a soulless monster that she refuses to kill until truly forced in order to save the world. His soul and his conscience are intertwined, and when he is Angelus, he has neither.

Okay, good enough. One loves where one loves, right? But are the soul and the conscience the same thing? Can one have a conscience without a soul or a soul without a conscience? I personally know several people who have no consciences yet who would, I am certain, maintain they have souls. And since they are still; technically alive, they must still have souls?

Is the problem with Spike more a problem of science running headlong into metaphysics? The chip can force him to amend his behavior, but it can't make him want to do what it forces upon him. It can't humanize him into caring about people much beyond the sphere of his beloved. But the cursed soul restored to Angel is metaphysics running into metaphysics. He is forced to have a conscience.

Okay, I am stumped. So what do you think about the question: Is the conscience the same as a soul?

Stalking the Vampire: Kipling's poem "The Vampire"

2010-05-06T17:47:00.001-07:00

Preparing for the Victorian Vampire presentation, I have just reread Kipling's poem, "The Vampire," for what must be the hundredth time. Somehow through the artistry of his writing, I have always felt sorry for the male whom the speaker is telling us about --since he is the subject -- the main actor -- within the poem (And I, too, have burned with unrequited lust) while the "Vampire" is the object of his desire and action. Finally it struck me: isn't the "fool" we are being told about really, in essence, stalking this nameless female whom he tells us, and we believe, is a "vampire?" But why is she a "vampire?" Because she fails to appreciate the marvels he is "giving" her? Why should she? Just because he takes her out for dinner and drinks, need she spend eternity with him? What sort of social contract is that? Does that make her a "vampire?" Do note that it is a male poet telling us the male side of the situation.

I argue that there is textual evidence suggesting that Kipling's friend who is a "fool" is stalking the woman. (And name-calling on top of the stalking.) According to Mullen in "A Study of Stalkers1" there are five basic types of stalkers: "Rejected stalkers" who pursue their victims after the break up of a relationship. "Resentful stalkers" who are "motivated by the desire to frighten and distress the victim." "Intimacy seekers" who want so badly to establish a relationship with the victim that they will do anything to be with them. "Incompetent suitors" who seek to have relationships with women who are already taken. And finally "predatory stalkers" who spy on the victim preparatory to attacking them. I argue that Kipling's protagonist fits three of the stalking types.

Kipling tells us that his "fool" of a friend "was stripped to his foolish hide,/[...]/Which she might have seen when she threw him aside...." after the dissolution of the relationship. But he kept right on chasing the woman, refusing to acknowledge that she had moved on. He kept right on working and attempting to buy his way back into her life. "Rejected stalker" anyone?

Kipling plays his own role, as poet and writer in the retaliatory name calling of the "resentful stalker." The "vampire" is described as, "a rag and a bone and a hank of hair," after being called a vampire. Thus Kipling dehumanizes the female who has done his friend wrong by allowing him to buy her a few pretty unnamed and un-valued baubles. She is a no longer a flesh and blood woman, instead reduced to a skeleton ("bone") , unkempt hair unattached to a head, and a body covered by old, torn, smelly "rag[s]." Yet not only is she unattractive, she is the walking dead seeking to drink the "fool" dry while all the while being unaware that she is part of a parasitic relationship.

Arguably Kipling's "fool" is an "intimacy stalker," so desperate for affection and a close loving relationship with the nameless female that he will willing to do anything for her, short of treating her with the respect of a name. She has refused to acknowledge "the fool" again and again:

And it isn't the shame and it isn't the blame
That stings like a white-hot brand--
It's coming to know that she never knew why
(Seeing, at last, she could never know why)
And never could understand!"

Kipling tells us. Yet does a woman who has dated a man a few times need to understand the reasons behind his refusing to let her go? Does she not have the right to live her life (unlife?) as she please; associating with those she wishes to and loving those she wishes to?

Yet history -- through Kipling's poem -- tells only the side of the abandoned, unwanted, used "fool." It tells us that, in Kipling's nameless narrator's opinion, the woman should have appreciated the attentions she was paid.

1. Mullen et al.. Stalkers and Their Victims. Cambridge University Press, 2000.

2010-04-29T23:15:00.000-07:00

This is the flyer for my Victorian Vampires in Literature presentation later this month. I plan on summarizing the various stories, then discussing the characteristics of the vampire in each story. Since I have only allowed an hour and a half for the presentation, it would be hard to do much more. Of course, I can't decide if I really want many people or not. This is my home audience, and I will have to see them again even if I blow the presentation.

I am lucky to work for a college that will allow time for non-canonical, popular culture classes and presentations.

Animal Blood-Drinking Vegetarian Vampires

2010-04-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Does anyone besides me wonder at the terminology of "vegetarian vampire" when referring to vampires who don't drink human blood? It isn't as though they are suddenly going on a regimen of broccoli and carrots with a fruit salad chaser. They are still drinking blood, just not the blood of humans. They are now drinking the blood of animals they kill in order to obtain the requisite blood (and I don't quite see the Cullens doing the whole Little Vampire cosying up to the cow thing).

So it is okay to kill animals instead of humans if one is a vampire, and doing so is a sign of the retention of humanity? But it is not okay to kill and eat animals if one is a still-living human (which presumes that vampires are not still-living humans)? And if one is a vampire the term vegetarian means animal eater, while for a human it means not-an-animal eater? Are you catching the problem here? Why the lexical drift? Why is it viewed as necessary? Does the necessity have to do with the drift of vampire from the horror genre to the romance genre? We don't have sex with our food, so we want vampires who no longer "see" us as food which thereby enables us to have sex with them?

I have no answers. I just know that the terminology irritates me. Vampires are not in a symbiotic relationship with the still-living blood donors. They are parasitic. They live off our blood. They return nothing, supply nothing, of value to the life of their blood donor. And isn't vegetarianism the attempt of humans to break the food chain parasitic relationship with the animals they share the planet with?

Vampire Pedophile

2010-04-05T16:18:00.000-07:00

I have been working with Mary Elizabeth Braddon's "The Good Lady Ducayne" (1896) which features the first scientific vampire, Lady Ducayne. She victimizes (vampirizes) several young girls, having their blood -- and their energy -- transfused into herself by her creepy Dr. She has been doing it thirty years by the time we join the story, and she is exposed. In my conference paper I note that she is never accused of lesbianism the way Le Fenu's "Carmilla" is, but she is ancient, so all we say is ... yyyyyuuuuccck ... at that very idea. I assume the difference is the blood is drawn through a test tube instead of by lips on a neck or breast. But the same reason we react so quickly to say yuck to the idea of sexual exchange between the two should, I believe, be the same reason we begin talking about pedophilia. That is if we assume that the Pedophile gets off as much on the power as on the sexual release, as modern psychologists tell us they do.

Let's bring it home. Edward Cullen is OLD. Bella is a virginal sixteen. From what I hear/read, none of the Twilight fans raise the specter of pedophilia when Edward is attracted to her youth and vigor. Yes, he looks young, but his reality, his identity, is that of an old man -- in fact a very very old man. So, since his outside appearance seems to match her outward appearance, the reaction to the sexual tension is "WoW!" The same with True Bood's vampires, Eric and Bill (and I would imagine Pam) each have a wide following of admirers, none of whom are particularly concerned by the age difference, except possibly to wonder if a long life = more sexual experience = better sex. As though the vampires even think of their human blood donors in terms of sex instead of in terms of food source.

A few months back I wrote an ezine article about May/December relationships between humans and vampires; I'm not sure now that I took it far enough. At what point in the age span difference does it matter if the human side of the equation "wants" to be in the relationship? Is it possible for an eight year old to really want to be in a relationship with a much much much much much older person? Has there been some sort of manipulation on the part of the older person, either economic or social that has unduly impacted the younger party? Taking the discussion back to a safe place, does Carmilla manipulate her young female acquaintance into a quasi-sexual relationship (I don't believe it ever crosses that line), so that she can "be" with her, or so that she can more readily obtain her blood? Ask yourself if Carmilla is a pedophile because she is really really old sharing a bed with a very young virgin? Again, is Edward?

No, I am not certain of the answers which I believe each of us will come to individually. But it makes food for thought.

Vampires Are in Our Heads!

2010-03-28T20:31:00.000-07:00

I now have the rough draft of the conference paper done, and good timing too since school resumes tomorrow with all the distractions of students. But then, in many ways my students are a blessing to the vampire side of me: they keep me young, they keep me current, and they force my mind to think about old issues in new ways -- as well as reminding me of resources which are old to me (and I forget them), and new to them.

One of these forgotten, but wonderful, resources is Katerhine Ramsland's The Science of Vampires. In her rather marveolous text, she takes a look at what would have to happen for vampires to become real. She includes chapters focusing on "Dracula's Shadow" -- the part I was reminded of today -- among many others since it has particular relevance upon my conference paper, and the thesis of the conference itself, that our perceptions of vampires change over time. Ramsland says, "Our monsters are based in our fears and our fears derive from our understanding of reality: if reality changes, so do our fears"(51). Of course, with vampires, they are now as much a creature of romance as they are of fear.

I receive paper after paper which equates pain and fear with sex and love. Personally -- and on this blog I can state my opinion as my opinion (don't try it on me in a class paper, my students!) : I am not buying it. Maybe it is a facet of having too many shots, too much blood drawn over the years (Medical Doctors -- not vampires), but pain is pain. And I am not turned on by fear. A really scary man doesn't turn me on; he makes me want to go find a safe house. To be blunt, having sex with someone who could rather easily accidentally kill me due to super-strength or excessive hunger is just scary. And yet author after author is making a fair living selling novels positing that vampires are sexy, and that a "monster" can be tamed.

Buried Beneath Vampires

2010-03-19T19:43:00.000-07:00

I am buried beneath vampires as details work themselves out for the "Open Graves Open Minds" conference in London April 16-17 (2010). I am manically working on creating the handout/overhead and catching up on the Victorian vampires I haven't met before. I thought I knew them all, then discovered a slew of them that are more available in the UK than they are in the US. Now I wonder how many are hiding in the EU and other National archives that nobody is mentioning. It would be nice if there were a international listing somewhere, but even my own over at simplysupernatural-vampire.com is incomplete. Some vampires aren't available anywhere online and the books or stories are extremely rare, and some require a request to the Library of Congress. Who would have thought that the Library of Congress actually will send its materials out through inter-library loan? I certainly didn't. My Victorian vampires are leading me on a treasure hunt through libraries all over the world.

The conference papers look interesting, and I am sad that I won't get to hear them all. But while I am reading my own paper, two other sessions of three papers will be going on, so for every session I attend, I miss six papers. I will have to choose sessions carefully. I will definitely miss anything that sounds jargony. I have no desire to listen to obscure over-erudite papers where you have to bend, fold, and mutilate to find the thesis and details. I read too many student papers that try to do that -- add enough words and the reader will believe that the paper contains meaning, when it doesn't. Sleight of hand papers irritate me.

Let the graves give up their dead...(paraphrase of Revelations).