Sunday, June 1, 2014

Confessions of a Vampire-Book Slut





 I am Leslie Ormandy, and I confess I am a vampire-book slut.

My first vampire-book relationship was with Bill Compton. He was handsome, gentlemanly, mysterious, and took his time courting me. I enjoyed every minute I spent with him in my arms with his hard-back clasped firmly between my hands. Yes, I knew about his relationships with other women. I knew that even while he was in bed with me, a part of him was enjoying a relationship with someone else. He was indiscriminate and would never be solely mine. Eventually the last page of our relationship was reached, and I had to move on. I had needs. I hated going to bed without someone to entertain me.

My next vampire-book relationship was with Jean Claude. He was masterful, powerful, in control. And the sex was hot, steamy, overpowering. Our liaison lasted longer than the relationship with Bill. But again I had to share him. Gradually I heard other women talking about him. Saw his name mentioned in Blogs, on Facebook, on Twitter. I had to listen to other women talk about the pleasure he gave them, and they many – odd – places they took him to: beaches, Dr’s offices, even the DMV. But even then I remained faithful, unwilling to give up the bliss he provided. Then one day the last page of our relationship was reached, and I knew I needed to turn over a new leaf.

I then began a series of short serial relationships. One book stands you would term them. Oh, I crawled into bed with them whenever they appeared on my doorstep, and they gratified my need for romance, sex, blood, and vicarious adventure, but often my favorites would appear only every other year; then several would appear at the same time, and I would have to chose which one to buy first. Yes, by then I was willing to shell out my hard-earned cash, the product of my labor, in order to take one of my favorites to bed. Even; occasionally, I would take a new vampire to bed to enjoy when I tired of my favorites.  I was becoming a vampire-book slut.

Yes, I know this is a support group for vampire-book sluts and all, and if there ever was a vampire-book slut it is me. I know that I am not alone in the world. I know that I can not possibly be the only person with this dreadful addiction. I am certain that I am not alone in answering the call when it is whispered in the night, in an immortal whisper: “let me… entertain you!”

byline L Ormandy (AKA SweetGoth)
The UnNatural Enquirer


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